First+draft+of+Persuasive+essay

The Boy in the Stripped Pajamas

The book “the Boy in the Stripped Pajamas” should not be read in high school because of it is unrealistic and impossible to happen at that time of period. Bruno and Shmuel are both 9 year-old kids and they are the main character of this book. Bruno’s father was a Nazi Soldier; he went to Auschwitz with his whole family. Later, since Bruno had nothing do without friends, he went out and crawled through a window to run approach the fence of concentration camp. For a long time, they became friends. However, because of the Jews and Germens were unequal and they should not be friends forever in reality, and it also distort the history of fact. Therefore, the book should not be read in high school.


 * Germen -- should be German**

The fact was, the concentration camp was controlled under the SS system. (The German Schutzstaffel ) They are part of Nazi’s and each camp there was at least a senior SS to organize the people. As they had previously been minorities of repressed communities, they were particularly good at dealing harshly with Russians, Poles and Jews. Therefore, if Shmuel could sit that close to the fence and talked with Bruno, he might even escape from the concentration camp. In addition, Shmuel came to the fence and talked to Bruno almost every day, sitting there and playing chess. However, the suggestion of the book was there were less Nazis soldiers or SS defenders standing or patrolling at the corner or nearby the fence. In reality, if someone who approached the fence, he would have been shot by the Nazi. (http://www.spartacus.schoolnet.co.uk/GERconcentration.htm )


 * Don't change tenses (past and present) -- if you are talking about the Holocaust, it should be in the past**

Another reason is, if the book is read by modern Jews, what do we think what they will think about the Germen? Although this was the fact that the Holocaust had occurred and we had to commit it, we might not want the next generation to read the story that makes them mad. However, there were few Jewish might have read “the Boy in the Stripped Pajamas”, and they might think that Bruno’s death is appropriate that he should die and it was lesson to teach Germen should not kill innocent people. Therefore, according to this reason, Jew could not forgive what Germen did. But the truth, the war is over, we should forget it.


 * Not a bad start, but falls apart at the end of the paragraph. Should we forget the war? It is such a devastating event! Might want to revise that part**

History, it is important for every country. However, this book has distorted the history that a Jew should not be friends with Germen because they were enemies in the entire life. From the reading, they both had more than one conversation, and finally became friends helping each other. In reality at that period of time, all Jews were captured by Nazi, and they had no rights even in their daily lives. For example, they should not watch through the window while they were living in Ghettoes if someone died. And they should live in a harsh condition room with fitting bunches of Jews.


 * Needs more -- I like your argument for distorting history but "should not be friends" argues that it was ok for Germans to hate Jews. Do you agree?**

Hopefully there will be no more war. This book is unrealistic and impossible happen, and it is a shame of Jews. Furthermore, this book has distorted the history; drawing parallels that Jews and Germen became friends which ware not supposed to occur. Since I supported my reasons by using facts and examples in my opinion, therefore I totally reject to read the book “the Boy in the Stripped Pajamas” in high school **This last sentence needs to go -- no first person!! You can reject it, but you are persuading the reader to reject it. Try something like "These reasons indicate why the book should not be read... or something like that**